They say laughter is the best medicine, and if that’s true, consider this your prescription for a healthy dose of the world’s most groan-worthy, eye-roll-inducing, and snort-worthy humor. Grab your socks, because these corny dad jokes might just knock ‘em off (if not, they’ll at least loosen ‘em a bit).
Let’s dive in!
Keep it wholesome and hilarious with dad jokes for kids that are perfect for any age—and any sense of humor!
1. Best Corny Dad Jokes
- Why did the scarecrow win an award?
Because he was outstanding in his field! - Why do seagulls fly over the ocean?
Because if they flew over the bay, they’d be bagels! - What do you call a factory that makes okay products?
A satisfactory! - Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers?
He made a mint! - How do you organize a space party?
You planet! - Why don’t skeletons fight each other?
They don’t have the guts! - What does a nosy pepper do?
Gets jalapeño business! - How do you make holy water?
You boil the hell out of it! - I’m reading a book on anti-gravity.
It’s impossible to put down! - Did you hear about the cheese factory explosion?
There was nothing left but de-brie!
Think you’ve heard the best dad jokes? We’ve got some absolute gems to add to your joke arsenal.
2. Corny Dad Jokes for Kids
- Why did the math book look sad?
Because it had too many problems. - What do you call a bear with no teeth?
A gummy bear! - Why did the banana go to the doctor?
Because it wasn’t peeling well! - How do you make a tissue dance?
Put a little boogie in it! - What do you call a snowman with a six-pack?
An abdominal snowman! - What kind of tree fits in your hand?
A palm tree! - Why did the tomato turn red?
Because it saw the salad dressing! - What do you get when you cross a snowman and a vampire?
Frostbite! - Why was the computer cold?
Because it left its Windows open! - What do you call a pig that does karate?
A pork chop!
Because one can never have too many funny dad jokes. These are so classic that even your kids might crack a smile!
3. Funny Corny Dad Jokes
- Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up by itself?
It was two-tired! - What did the ocean say to the beach?
Nothing, it just waved! - Why don’t scientists trust atoms?
Because they make up everything! - Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants?
In case he got a hole in one! - What do you call fake spaghetti?
An impasta! - What does a baby computer call its father?
Data! - Why did the stadium get so hot?
All the fans left! - Why can’t you give Elsa a balloon?
Because she’ll let it go! - What do you call a group of musical whales?
An orca-stra! - What’s orange and sounds like a parrot?
A carrot!
Ready for the future of dad jokes? Our collection of dad jokes 2024 is here to keep you ahead in the humor game.
4. Corny Dad Jokes for Work
- Why did the scarecrow get promoted?
Because he was outstanding in his field of expertise! - Why do programmers prefer dark mode?
Because light attracts bugs! - What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?
“Supplies!” - Why did the calendar apply for a job?
Because it wanted to work its days off! - Why was the office coffee so sad?
Because it got mugged! - How does a computer get angry?
It loses its temper! - Why was the pencil feeling stressed at work?
It was under too much pressure! - Why did the PowerPoint presentation get sent to therapy?
It had too many slides! - Why did the stapler apply for the manager’s position?
Because it wanted to be the “boss of the clips”! - Why do coworkers tell each other corny jokes?
To keep the work environment pun-derful!
Looking for jokes with some Italian flair? Our jokes for Italians will serve up laughs, pasta-style!
5. Really Corny Dad Jokes
- Why can’t your nose be 12 inches long?
Because then it’d be a foot! - What’s Forrest Gump’s email password?
1forest1! - What did one wall say to the other wall?
“I’ll meet you at the corner!” - Why do cows wear bells?
Because their horns don’t work! - Why did the gym close down?
It just didn’t work out! - What’s brown and sticky?
A stick! - How does the moon cut its hair?
Eclipse it! - What do you call a magic dog?
A labracadabrador! - Why did the frog take the bus to work?
His car got toad away! - What do you call an alligator in a vest?
An investigator!
Sometimes humor helps us cope. Check out our Cancer jokes, crafted carefully to spark laughter while remaining thoughtful.
6. Super Corny Dad Jokes
- What do you call cheese that isn’t yours?
Nacho cheese! - What did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college?
Bison! - What did the fisherman say to the magician?
Pick a cod, any cod! - Why did the teddy bear say no to dessert?
Because he was already stuffed! - What do you call a pony with a sore throat?
A little horse! - What did the grape do when he got stepped on?
Nothing, he just let out a little wine! - Why did the coffee file a police report?
It got mugged! - What do you call a belt with a watch on it?
A waist of time! - How does a penguin build its house?
Igloos it together! - Why did the man run around his bed?
To catch up on his sleep!
Need a midweek laugh? Our Wednesday jokes are here to get you through the hump day with a smile.
7. Bad Corny Dad Jokes
- Why can’t a nose be 12 inches long?
Because then it’d be a foot! (I know, still bad!) - Why did the chicken join a band?
Because it had the drumsticks! - What’s a skeleton’s least favorite room?
The living room! - Why did the golfer bring two pairs of pants?
In case he got a hole in one! - What do you call a can opener that doesn’t work?
A can’t opener! - Why don’t eggs tell each other secrets?
Because they might crack up! - What kind of car does an egg drive?
A yolkswagen! - What do you call a bee that can’t make up its mind?
A maybe! - How do celebrities stay cool?
They have many fans! - What did the tree say to the wind?
Leaf me alone!
Our name jokes are so personalized that even dad jokes will start feeling a bit jealous.
8. Corny Christmas Dad Jokes
- What do you call an elf that sings?
A wrapper! - Why did Santa get a parking ticket?
He left his sleigh in a snow-parking zone! - What do snowmen call their offspring?
Children! - What’s a snowman’s favorite breakfast?
Frosted flakes! - How does Santa keep track of all the fireplaces he’s visited?
He keeps a chimney log! - What did the Christmas tree say to the ornament?
“Quit hanging around!” - What do you get if you cross a snowman and a dog?
Frostbite! - Why did Santa go to music school?
To improve his wrapping skills! - What’s Santa’s favorite type of music?
Wrap music! - What does Santa do in his garden?
Ho-ho-hoes!
Why did the dad joke cross the road? To set you up for the timeless chicken butt joke, of course!
9. Corny Dad Birthday Jokes
- What do you say to a cheese on its birthday?
Have a gouda one! - Why did the birthday cake go to school?
Because it wanted to be a smart cookie! - What’s the best way to remind someone of their age?
Bring them a cake with a fire department on standby! - Why did the candles all go to therapy?
Because they were burned out! - Why don’t birthday cakes do well in school?
They always get eaten up in math class! - Why did the teddy bear skip dessert on its birthday?
It was already stuffed! - How do pickles celebrate their birthdays?
They relish the moment! - What kind of music do balloons hate?
Pop music! - Why did the birthday boy bring a ladder to the party?
Because he wanted to go to the next level! - What does a cow say on its birthday?
Moo-ve over, it’s my special day!
Bounce into our basketball jokes for humor that scores big, just like a perfect three-pointer!
10. Corny Dad Knock Knock Jokes
- Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Lettuce.
Lettuce who?
Lettuce in, it’s freezing out here! - Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Cow says.
Cow says who?
No silly, cow says MOO! - Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Boo.
Boo who?
Don’t cry, it’s just a joke! - Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Atch.
Atch who?
Bless you! - Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Dishes.
Dishes who?
Dishes the police, open up! - Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Alpaca.
Alpaca who?
Alpaca the suitcase, you load up the car! - Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Harry.
Harry who?
Harry up, it’s cold out here! - Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Honeydew.
Honeydew who?
Honeydew you want to hear another joke? - Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Tank.
Tank who?
You’re welcome! - Knock, knock!
Who’s there?
Olive.
Olive who?
Olive you, and I miss you!
After our dad jokes, check out our yo momma so broke jokes for a wallet-busting round of humor.
11. Corny Halloween Dad Jokes
- Why do ghosts like to ride in elevators?
It raises their spirits! - What’s a vampire’s favorite fruit?
A neck-tarine! - Why did the skeleton refuse to cross the road?
He didn’t have the guts! - What’s a witch’s favorite subject in school?
Spelling! - Why don’t mummies take vacations?
They’re afraid they’ll unwind! - What’s a ghost’s favorite type of music?
Soul music! - Why was the zombie a great chef?
He could really make brains taste good! - What do you call a haunted chicken?
A poultry-geist! - What do monsters use to keep their hair in place?
Scare spray! - Why are graveyards so noisy?
Because of all the coffin!
Fans of music and mischief will love our Taylor Swift jokes, sure to strike a chord with every Swiftie.
12. Corny One Liner Dad Jokes
- I’m on a whiskey diet. I’ve lost three days already!
- I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
- Parallel lines have so much in common. It’s a shame they’ll never meet.
- I got hit in the head with a can of soda. Luckily, it was a soft drink.
- I would avoid the sushi if I were you. It’s a little fishy.
- I have a fear of speed bumps. But I’m slowly getting over it.
- Did you hear about the guy who invented the knock-knock joke? He won the no-bell prize!
- My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. So I had to put my foot down.
- I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
- I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down!
If you enjoy some wild and goofy humor, swing over to our monkey jokes for a barrel of laughs!
13. Corny Dad Jokes for Father’s Day
- Why did the dad bring a ladder to the bar?
Because he wanted to reach the high spirits! - What did the baby corn say to the mama corn on Father’s Day?
Where’s popcorn? - Why do dads tell bad jokes on Father’s Day?
Because they just can’t help their dad-ication to humor! - How does a father claim his free meal at a restaurant?
He just asks for the dad-ly special! - What does a father clock do on Father’s Day?
Goes back to spend more time with the kids! - What’s a dad’s favorite type of music on Father’s Day?
Pop music! - Why did the father tie his shoes so tight?
Because he heard it was a shoe-in to be a great dad! - Why did Dad keep asking for handkerchiefs on Father’s Day?
Because he knew his jokes would be tear-ably funny! - What did the ocean say to Dad on Father’s Day?
Nothing, it just waved! - Why did Dad sit in the freezer on Father’s Day? He wanted to feel cool for once!
From ranches to rodeos, our cowboy jokes are corny, quick, and perfect for any wannabe cowpoke or seasoned cowboy.
Ending
And there you have it—corny dad jokes that range from eye-roll worthy to laugh-out-loud hilarious. If these didn’t get at least a groan or a chuckle, you might need to double-check your funny bone! Just remember, life’s too short not to enjoy a good dad joke, even if it leaves everyone groaning…or plotting to hide the dad joke book. Happy joking, and may your punchlines always land (eventually)!
For those who love speed and humor, our racing jokes are sure to make your laughter accelerate faster than any race car.
Meet Rosa Sidqai, a freelance writer from Florida with a talent for comedy writing that brings joy and laughter to her readers. With years of experience in crafting humor content, Rosa effortlessly turns everyday moments into hilarious stories that keep readers entertained and coming back for more. She covers a wide range of topics, from the quirks of daily life to the absurdities of the world, always with a humorous twist. When she’s not busy writing jokes, Rosa enjoys exploring the beauty of Florida, constantly seeking new inspirations for her next funny masterpiece.
